For years, I have been fascinated by the relationship between the brain and the heart (the body). Why is it that when I feel something with my whole body, the grey matter pulls me in the opposite direction, trying to make me doubt myself? Why do I find myself sinking into the whirlpools of my mind, where I feel confused, alone, and often at a dead end? Which of the two is right? Is there even such a thing as being wrong?

After numerous experiments, I came to the conclusion that, when it comes to myself, my body is far more accurate in what it senses. The brain, on the other hand, operates primarily in the past and is often driven by fear of the future. The advice it gives me is based on past experience, but that experience is severely limited by what has happened to me and how I have perceived it.

These mechanisms begin to take shape early in our lives, and school plays a significant role in shaping our patterns of behaviour. It was there that I learned that there is right and wrong, and where my fear of failure took root.

When I began thinking about the theme of “Intertia,” my brain exerted tremendous pressure on me. I had to create the best artwork in the world so that I wouldn’t embarrass myself, of course. This is a process that repeats itself frequently and, as it turns out, has censored me from being myself for years.

This is why i decided to take a step back and see the situation for exactly what it is, just another situation. This gave me the idea to use that in the artwork and just be authentic as possible, showing a vulnerable part of my process.

photos: Raya Nikolova

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